Hail Cesar!

At 7:30am April 3, 2013 my little angel Isla was born. The mood was calm, my husband & I were relaxed and it was the delivery I had always dreamed of.

I delivered my daughter via CDMR (that’s Caesarean Delivery on Maternal Request). It is my hope that my story will help show people not all Caesareans are emergency ones. They do not have to be a scary, stressful unknown experience. They are not all a matter of life and death; like the horror stories we’ve all heard.

Let’s rewind a bit to how my decision came about. My sister and I were both delivered via caesarean, so it is not uncommon in my family. I have grown up understanding there are two ways a baby can be born; both holding their own risks. Long before we began trying to fall pregnant, I signed up for private health insurance, with top obstetric cover to ensure I would be able to choose a doctor who would support my birth plan. 

After more than a year of trying we finally fell pregnant! I thoroughly researched my options and found that an Elective Cesar would allow me to know exactly what was happening throughout the delivery, as opposed to a natural birth where there are so many variables. I wanted to conserve my energy so I could be the best mum I could be to the world’s biggest variable: a new baby!

After researching Obstetricians in my area I had a meeting with one I felt looked ok (how do you really know from an internet profile, right?). After a quick ultrasound he handed me some paperwork and asked if I had any questions. I said “Just one; I want a CDMR. Are you ok with that? If not that’s ok, I will find an obstetrician who is”. He laughed and replied “that’s perfect with me! I am here to help you in whatever you chose”.

On the day of the surgery I arrived at the hospital at 6am booked for theatre at 7. They ushered me into my room, checked the baby’s heartbeat, handed me a sick bag (I had morning sickness EVERY DAY of my pregnancy… even on the way to theatre!), sat me in a wheelchair and we were off.

ready to head down to the operating room

I had the luxury of also choosing my Anaesthetist; he was a client of my husbands, who we knew well for a number of years. They took me into the theatre, sat me on the edge of the bed and gave me the spinal epidural. We chatted the whole time about our weekend as though nothing was going on at all. Within seconds I was feeling the effects. I was then transferred onto the operation table.

They ushered my husband in, and he sat beside my head. We chatted with the anaesthetist about the football match we went to the Saturday before. I knew every noise, every movement, what every person was doing at all times. I was comfortable, happy and content. No more than 15 minutes later I heard a cry and she was here!! 8 pounds, 1 oz of perfection and the greatest love I will ever know.

In post-op my hospital provides skin-to-skin time, allowing Isla to snuggle with me, and she nuzzled in to feed almost straight away. We then returned to our room and began life as a little family.

The first 24 hours I was kept in bed, but by the next morning I was helped to have a shower and encouraged to take short walks. I had no pain from the surgery; rather more discomfort from the afterbirth. I showered unassisted the following day, and was then heading down to the hospital café. I stayed in the 5 nights as per the hospital recommendations and had a great experience.

By 2 weeks I was driving, lifting washing baskets, going for daily walks and honestly never felt any discomfort from the surgery whatsoever. At my 6 week check up I asked my obstetrician “Are you sure you took her out through there?” 9 months on I have a 7cm horizontal scar which looks like the crease inside your elbow, and it continues to fade.

It was really surprised to experience the judgement (both blatant and disguised) at my decision to have a CDMR. People would say “oh no! That’s a shame” and look at me with pity in their eyes. I had family tell me I wouldn’t be able to breastfeed (nearly 10 months going strong now; no bottles, no expressing, no formula and proud of it!). I had people offer to explain their own natural birth experiences, as maybe I was just scared. I had people tell my husband to be prepared to shower me for 6 weeks after the birth. I even had a midwife at my Antenatal Class pull me aside during the break and ask if I needed more information about a NORMAL birth!! (To which I replied, “there is nothing abnormal about a Cesar”…). Every single bad story you have hear just doesn’t apply to me.

For me, my birth experience was perfect. In no way do I feel as though I missed out by not going into labour, in fact the opposite. I was in control the entire time, and this enabled me to solely focus on my newborn baby, and if I ever have another I will do it all over again.

Social Media and My Baby - No Deal!

As some of you already know, I don't place any images of my daughter on social media. I'm the minority. I'm the outcast. I'm the weird over-protective mother. I've got to say I was surprised to be the one outnumbered. For me, however, it is a way I can protect my child's privacy, something I am fiercely passionate about.

I see people taking photos of their child at Rhyme Time; a 1/2hr session held at the local libraries where we all sit our babies down and sing nursery rhymes. I have been taking Isla since she was quite little, and she LOVES it! If you're a parent and you don't know what this is, get onto it quick smart!
Anyway... Parents watch their little darlings clapping along and of course want to capture a shot of the moment, which may inadvertently include my daughter. What do I do? I don't want some random stranger with an image of my child, so I cover her face.

How is this any different to uploading a picture of my child onto Facebook? Yes I have super-tight privacy settings, but the thing that scares me is anyone who sees an image can save it to their camera roll. What they then do is out of my control. Next time they sync their phone to their computer it ends up in their photo library, then say they get a virus and all their images are copied? Then who has that innocent picture?

I am not naive enough to think Facebook is a safe environment, regardless of the security controls you can select. The fact is, once you upload an image to Facebook they OWN your image. They could do whatever they want with it. Someone somewhere in Facebook Head Office could be scrolling through (don't think they can't) and think "Hey, that's pretty cute. We could absolutely sell that image to a marketing company" or worse. At the end of the day, these social media outlets are businesses, and how they generate an income surely cannot solely be from those annoying banner ads running down the side of your page (especially when more and more people are accessing social media via handheld devices).

If you think I'm being excessive, consider this; Facebook is currently being sued for intercepting private messages "In an effort to learn the content of the user's communication". In the past 2 years, Facebook has paid over $US30 million to settle law suits relating to privacy. as reported by the ABC.

I read an article last week about the ever-increasing movement to protect the rights of children, particularly on the social media stage;

In 2013, Australia’s first National Children’s Commissioner was appointed at the Australian Human Rights Commission to ensure that children’s voices are heard when “decisions are made about the issues that affect their lives”. Today, the commission launches its Children’s Rights Report, the first of its kind in Australia. 

You can read the entire article here

Don't think I'm not tempted. Of course I have the most beautiful baby girl who has ever entered this world, and I would love nothing more than to bombard everyone with adorable images of her. I have literally thousands to chose from; I have worked out in just over 9 months I have taken an average of 17 photos a day of her. I carry them on my phone and will show anyone who even has the slightest interest. However, It is the decision my husband and I have made to protect her, and a decision I am confident in.

As I said, I know I'm the exception to the norm, and what other people do is their prerogative. I'm not here to be all judgey. However, I find it interesting how it is a conversation which has been somewhat unspoken, just think about it. Perhaps putting a naked image of your child on the internet isn't a great idea...

Our Merry Little Christmas

I am a self-confessed Christmas nut. I know many of you cringe at the sound of carols played in the stores from October, and fruit mince pies in supermarkets since April but I LOOOOVE it.

It is an extra special Christmas in our family this year for 2 reasons:

1. Little Miss Isla is here.
2. For the first time in my adult life I am not working during Christmas!

As you become an adult, and move out of home some of the magic of Christmas wears off, but having a child brings it all flooding back. 

As a child I remember sitting in the lounge with my mum and sister under the lights of the Christmas tree singing carols together, or all watching the Carols by Candlelight on TV Christmas Eve, then Christmas day being with family, eating an incredible lunch and playing all afternoon. 

By the time I was a teenager I was 'too cool' for all that daggy stuff, but now I look back on it fondly. It isn't the presents, but the traditions our family created that last a lifetime.

Now I have a child of my own I am excited to continue some of those traditions, and maybe create some of our own too. 

The tree has been up since early November (maybe late October if I'm honest...), stockings are hung, Christmas cards posted, Michael Buble's Christmas is on repeat, and Isla has been wearing Christmas ensembles for weeks now. I love having the time to sew and bake special gifts with love for friends and family. 

Our little tree

Stockings I made for us this year (Dad, Mum & Isla)

Rudy the Reindeer (pattern from Melly & Me)

It was so special taking Isla for her photo with Santa (she was the perfect model!), and watching her wonder at the lights on the tree each night.
I can't wait for the next few years when we can leave cookies for Santa and food for the reindeers, and see the look on her face the next morning when she finds them eaten!  

Sometimes it is easy to forget how special this time of year really is. If you have the chance, relax and enjoy some time with your friends and family. xx

What's in a Name {ing day}?

About a month ago we had a naming day for Isla. We aren't very religious, so the idea of a Christening wasn't right for us, but we still wanted to have a ceremony where we could celebrate the arrival of our little girl with family and friends.

What happens at a Naming ceremony I hear you ask? Well it was a question I was asked a number of times leading up to the day. I didn't realise they were still relatively uncommon...

A Naming Ceremony is a secular ceremony officiated by a Celebrant just like a civil ceremony at a wedding. We had a lot of input in the content and were able to tailor it to us, which I loved. 

Here's where my addiction to Pinterest has finally started to pay off: 
In place of a guestbook we had a canvas image of a cupcake which people could add thumbprint 'sprinkles' which now hangs proudly in the nursery.

We also had little containers of bubbles which everyone blew at the end of the service and made a silent wish for Isla. She adores bubbles, and I thought it was a nice way to include a bit of her in the day.

My Husband & I recited "Parents Promises" to Isla, things we committed to be and do for her. My Sister made a lovely speech also, but as always, my Husband stole the show with a truly beautiful letter he read out. 

He wrote it about a week after Isla was born and even now I get goosebumps when I read it. I thought I'd share it:

Dear Isla Mae,

I met you only just last week, although it was a bit confronting and awkward with the bright lights of the theatre, I heard the doctor say Hello to you first and then you cried out your first little sound in this world. It was a sound I'd waited quite a while to hear and I can tell you it was like an angel had arrived right there, it was only a moment later I cut your cord and held you for the first time.

I'm not sure what I thought I'd feel but I suppose, to be honest, I'd been told stories of how sometimes Dads don't feel a connection straight away and I was thinking maybe that'd be me - but I can tell you this: what I knew of the feeling of Love, all the love I'd ever felt for anyone or anything up until that point, I guess, was a rehearsal for the deepness and fullness of the love I felt for you that moment.

The coolest thing about this though, is that it gets better each and every moment - like when I watched you laying on your mummy's chest in the first hour or so of your life, I fell in love with her all over again when she caressed the back of your head and helped you find her breast so you could feed. It was a feeling of pride, and awe, watching you two get to know each other properly, outside of her tummy!

The funny thing is I felt like I already knew you as well - like we'd known each other for years, like I already had some kind of bond with you and I already knew what to do - how to hold you, how to change you, how to talk to you. It was like you were a part of me. I understood what people meant when they say they'd do anything for their children, they'd give anything up for them, and they’d give their lives to protect them. I felt in those first few hours I was holding you in my arms: if someone told me I had to give up every single dollar I had and every single possession I owned right then, just to be able to keep you, they'd have it in a second. No question. I realised mums & dads aren't kidding when they call their children precious...

I can stare at you for hours with probably what is a stupid look on my face. I hold you in my lap and watch in wonder and amazement at your little feet, your nose and ears, and every now again, a glimpse of your beautiful big blue eyes.  I just look at you.

I change your nappy and rejoice at it's contents - after all it's very exciting to know this little person you created from nothing actually works! She is actually a living, breathing person, and you and her mummy created her with nothing but love. It's pretty cool...

Getting out of bed in the darkness, when its cold and I can't find my shoes, just to check on a sound I thought I heard - I've done that a few times before like at Copeton on a camping trip in June, I can sure do it for you my girl, that's the easy part I've learned, as tired as I am and knowing I've got a day's work only a couple of hours ahead, I do it. Do it for love.

I think to myself "I can't wait until she can focus her eyes on mine, until she can hear me coming up the driveway after work, until she runs to me with arms outstretched yelling Daddy Daddy Daddy!", and then, I look at you so peacefully laying in your wrap and I think "yeah, I CAN wait. Take your time baby girl. Everyday with you is precious - we don't need to rush, take your time. I love you Isla.

Love Daddy.

SEE?!

It was a really special day for our new little family, and one we will fondly remember for years to come.



For anyone interested:
~ Isla's letters were made by the insanely talented Ruby Roo Designs (head over and 'like' them on Facebook!)

~ Our gorgeous celebrant was Clarah Luxford, I can highly recommend her and I am already looking at dates to book her for our 10 year wedding anniversary to renew our vows.

~ The park is Schuster Park at Tallebudgera (don't tell anyone though, its one of the best kept secrets on the Gold Coast). 

Thank you for your feedback...

It's a funny thing; There really is no training for a baby, yet everyone has an opinion.

While I am very open to gentle advice from friends and family, even after 7 months it still baffles me how strangers feel very welcome to voice their opinions. 

Here's a newsflash. You aren't.

This happened to me earlier this week:

While waiting to buy bread at the bakery, I was holding Isla, who was ready for a sleep. When she's tired she sucks her thumb, she's never taken a dummy and I'm fine with that. The lady behind the counter turns to me and says "Oh, you've got a thumbsucker? That'll cause dental problems in the future". 

I didn't say a word, just stared at her. 5 loooong seconds went by until I could see the wave of embarrassment flush her face and she begun to back-pedal. Still I didn't say a word, and the lady busied herself with another customer, I was served by someone else and continued on my way.

While I showed restraint, what I wanted to say was;

"Oh! What university did you study at? I didn't realise you could do a double degree in Bread-Making and Paediatric Dentistry!". 

It doesn't matter what you do, someone will disagree. Use a dummy? It'll be hard to wean the baby off it. Let your baby suck their thumb? They'll never break the habit (or worse, she'll grow up with teeth like an old horse). Breastfeed your baby longer than someone else? You're strange. Bottle feed your baby formula from 2 weeks? You're selfish.

At the end of the day, as new mothers we are all just feeling our way through this crazy time and doing what works best for our baby. A stranger at the bakery can't judge that from a one minute encounter, nor should they feel entitled to. 

So thank you for your feedback bakery lady, I shall file it in the appropriate manner.

My Top 3 Beauty Products for New Mums

Being a new mum is tough; of course you know your life will change, but the paradigm shift is mind-numbing, you just don't get time for yourself.

Not long after Isla was born I had to run into the bank at our local shopping centre. I had no makeup on, hair unwashed, crumpled clothes and I just wanted to race in and straight back out. 

As fate would have it, I ran into a work colleague. I knew I looked like a wreck and the look on her face confirmed it. 

Before having my baby I always took pride in my appearance, and the chance encounter had jolted me back to reality. I was feeling tired, run-down and frumpy. Yes, these are all completely normal feelings after just having a baby and adapting to life on 4 hrs sleep, but I had forgotten how empowered I felt just by putting on some lipstick. 

Here are the top 3 beauty products for new mums. They helped me to feel more like my old self, and only take a sec.

1. Klorane Dry Shampoo with Oat Milk
    A quick spray will get rid of those oily roots, leaves your hair feeling soft and looking great. 

2. Garnier BB Cream
    It contains an SPF 15, evens tone and gives you a healthy glow. For mums on the run its the perfect alternative to a full face of makeup.

3. Revlon Just Bitten Lip Stain 
    They're available in 10 great colours, and lasts for hours. The retractable chubby crayon means no sharpener is required, and its super quick to apply as your visitors are walking up the driveway!

Just a few minutes spent on myself always helps me feel human again, and I hope these items will do the same for you.

Be gentle, its my first time

I thought I'd use my first post as an introduction.

I am a 29 yo first time mum to my incredible 7 month old daughter Isla (hence the name). 
It took a while for her to come along, so I'm happy just enjoying every waking moment with her - although sometimes I need reminding in the middle of the night...

I studied Journalism and PR, which I have never used (until now).

I am an avid baker, novice sewer and diabolical mathematician. 

My aim is to use this blog to share some experiences, triumphs, disasters, tips & products I have found helpful along the way. 

Until next time