While I am very open to gentle advice from friends and family, even after 7 months it still baffles me how strangers feel very welcome to voice their opinions.
Here's a newsflash. You aren't.
This happened to me earlier this week:
While waiting to buy bread at the bakery, I was holding Isla, who was ready for a sleep. When she's tired she sucks her thumb, she's never taken a dummy and I'm fine with that. The lady behind the counter turns to me and says "Oh, you've got a thumbsucker? That'll cause dental problems in the future".
I didn't say a word, just stared at her. 5 loooong seconds went by until I could see the wave of embarrassment flush her face and she begun to back-pedal. Still I didn't say a word, and the lady busied herself with another customer, I was served by someone else and continued on my way.
While I showed restraint, what I wanted to say was;
"Oh! What university did you study at? I didn't realise you could do a double degree in Bread-Making and Paediatric Dentistry!".
It doesn't matter what you do, someone will disagree. Use a dummy? It'll be hard to wean the baby off it. Let your baby suck their thumb? They'll never break the habit (or worse, she'll grow up with teeth like an old horse). Breastfeed your baby longer than someone else? You're strange. Bottle feed your baby formula from 2 weeks? You're selfish.
At the end of the day, as new mothers we are all just feeling our way through this crazy time and doing what works best for our baby. A stranger at the bakery can't judge that from a one minute encounter, nor should they feel entitled to.
So thank you for your feedback bakery lady, I shall file it in the appropriate manner.
So true. Everyone is an expert and ironically sometimes those who have the most to offer/suggest/instruct have never even raised a child.
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